Sorority Women, Rugby Players,Cheerleaders and Dykes

Over the weekend I found myself working in the Student Center, filling in for shifts that will hopefully be in the hands of student workers soon.

I was looking forward towards Saturday's program with a mixture of curiosity and trepidation. Our friends in Student Activities were hosting a Greek leadership event that focused on shared values. I was excited because I honestly don't know much about what it means to be Greek beyond the stereotypes and my individual experiences with members of the Greek community. I was nervous because those stereotypes and my personal experiences as an undergrad had been so negative.

The opening speaker for this event was a passionate, articulate and an overall very cool sorority woman. Her speech was an interactive, metacognative session that challenged the Greek attendees to ask why they became Greek and what it means to be Greek. It was interesting because you saw the entire range of responses, some of them fulfilling the stereotypes of Greeks, ie partying and others identifying admirable traits: family, service, high personal standards and ritual. The speaker skillfully created a taxonomy where negative stereotypes, for that matter actions in many cases, were the domain of Sorority Girls, where as the true meaning of being Greek was the providence of Sorority Women.

Or at least that was one perspective which I had following the discussion.

The other was the burning hatred of someone who had listened to a total hypocrite speak.

I met the speaker, a the national president of a major sorority and student affairs veteran, while setting up the sound. It was a Saturday and I felt intimidated, so I wore my Philly hoody to work, it was both a badge of pride and a amulet of protection. Mostly it became a conversation starter; the speaker noticing my sweatshirt asked if I played. I told her yes, at which point she proceeded to repeat 2 out of 3 of the unholy, godless stereotypes that make it hard to be a rugby player, coach or administrator.

"Oh wow that's a really rough sport. You must sure like to party!"

It is hard to say how I felt at that moment...but in that second it was disappointment more than anything else. Yet once I heard this person's background and her presentation my blood began to boil. It wasn't that she had put down rugby players (deservedly or not), it wasn't that she knew better than to make the comments or that she was about to go on stage and address the issue of stereotyping and representation. No, I was most pissed because I realized my negative Karma was at work.

Recently my father ended a very long, very tumultuous relationship. It's been a while since I have had to deal with the new girl friend situation and for the first time since my parents got divorced many many moons ago I was confronted with a stressful situation: a girlfriend with kids my age. I am sure I sound 14 right now but lets not underestimate how stressful these situations can be. Especially when this new girlfriend has an admirable, if somewhat annoying, motherly streak. My track record interacting with folks of a similar age is really bad, especially those who live in that bubble gum to beer, upper middle class, ubber straight mind set.

Which brings me to cheerleaders, as in the two cheerleaders who might be my step siblings. As in the cheerleader who I had a 30 second interaction with and conjured all the worst stereotypes, despite knowing she got back from cheer nationals. Cheerleaders, like my friend Jordan who was one of the coolest people I met as a freshman at Temple. Cheerleaders like some of the players I coach: fierce, loyal, tough and amazing. Cheerleaders, some of which are assholes like me and the sorority president and judge people without even knowing them.

Maybe I deserved to be called a dyke by the little idiots at practice last night, it's just Karma.